"Don't want! I won't! No need! I myself!” - three-year-old crisis: signs of a crisis and how to overcome it. Psychological characteristics of a child’s behavior at three years old Raising a boy 3 4

Do we know that whims and stubbornness are most often caused by the fact that three-year-old children consider themselves already adults, but we do not notice and do not accept this?

The position of a three-year-old child is: “I myself,” “I can,” “I know,” and the position of an adult is still: “You are small.” The crisis of three years is connected with this. This is a difficult period for both children and adults. How it ends, with what consequences, depends on us. What to do in order not to lose the child’s respect, recognize his right to choose and at the same time direct his desires in the right direction?

Is it possible to give in on everything? This is a question for psychologists. We offer some pedagogical techniques for resolving conflict situations, based on knowledge of the psychological characteristics of three-year-old children.

- Why should a son or daughter eat the porridge that the mother suggested, and not the one that he (s) chose himself?

- Why do you have to go to bed when mom and dad are watching TV and the child’s play is in full swing?

Here are typical conflicts between “fathers and sons” aged three to four years.

While resolving them, we must not forget that every child is an individual, one and only. Not all techniques will be useful for YOUR child; from them you need to choose those that will help you get out of the conflict without damage to both sides.

Need to:

♦ Love a child for who he is, not because he is “good,” and do not demand anything in return. (I love you, and you must obey me! - But do we really owe it for love?!)

♦ Give the child the right to choose, the opportunity to have his own opinion, because he is a member of the family like everyone else. (What do you think? What do you choose?)

♦ Praise your child more often for good deeds. Don't be afraid, you won't overpraise. (You put away all the toys today, well done! You helped me, and the toys are happy. Otherwise they would have been upset, and so would I!)

♦ Be on an equal footing with your child, and not put pressure on him with your authority (after all, you can’t put pressure on him with authority, you have to earn it).

♦ Play with him more often, because in the game he is an adult and knows how to do everything himself. And if he is an “adult” in the game, then maybe the crisis will pass unnoticed and smoothly?

♦ Demand something from the child with respect for him (I love you, but until you wash your face, we won’t go for a walk. You have your own conditions, I have mine. Let’s fulfill them together.)

♦ Condemn an ​​individual act, not the child himself. “You scattered your things, you’re bad!” - You can’t make comments like this, it creates in the child a feeling of guilt and awareness of his own inferiority. You need to say: “You scattered your things - this is a bad act, it’s not like you, because you are neat!”

♦ When blaming, compare the child’s bad deed with his good deed. (Today you tore a book, and yesterday you carefully put all the toys in a box.) Hug your child at least 5 times a day. This gives the child a feeling of security and self-confidence. They love him, that means he is good.

It is forbidden:

♦ Compare the child’s actions with the actions of other children. This humiliates him and creates self-doubt. Hence the shame and fear: what if they stop loving him.

♦ Scold the child for bad actions. You just need to be upset. (You didn’t listen to grandma today, it upset me.)

Just yesterday your baby was so soft and obedient, but today he throws tantrums, is rude for any reason, and categorically refuses to fulfill his mother’s requests. What happened to him? Most likely, the child has entered the so-called crisis of three years. Agree, it sounds impressive. But how should adults react to such childish behavior and what should parents who are tired of the whims do?

In the psychological literature, the crisis of the age of three is called a special, relatively short-lived period of a child’s life, which is characterized by significant changes in his mental development. The crisis does not necessarily occur on the third birthday; the average age of onset is from 2.5 to 3.5 years.

"Don't want! I won't! No need! I myself!”

• The period of stubbornness begins at about 1.5 years.
• As a rule, this phase ends by 3.5-4 years.
• The peak of stubbornness occurs at 2.5-3 years.
• Boys are more stubborn than girls.
• Girls are capricious more often than boys.
• During a crisis period, attacks of stubbornness and capriciousness occur in children 5 times a day. For some, up to 19 times.

A crisis is a child’s restructuring, his maturation.

The duration and severity of manifestations of emotional reactions largely depend on the child’s temperament, family parenting style, and the characteristics of the relationship between mother and baby. Psychologists are sure that the more authoritarian relatives behave, the brighter and more acute the crisis manifests itself. By the way, it may intensify with the beginning of the visit.

If recently parents did not understand how to teach their children to be independent, now there is too much of it. Phrases “I myself”, “I want/I don’t want” are heard regularly.

The child recognizes himself as a separate person, with his own desires and needs. This is the most important new development of this age crisis. Thus, such a difficult period is characterized not only by conflicts with mother and father, but also by the emergence of a new quality - self-awareness.

And yet, despite the apparent maturity, the baby does not understand how to get recognition and approval from his parents. Adults continue to treat the child as if he were small and unintelligent, but for him he is already independent and big. And such injustice makes him rebel.

7 main signs of a crisis

In addition to the desire for independence, the crisis of three years has other characteristic symptoms, thanks to which it cannot be confused with bad behavior and childhood harmfulness.

1. Negativism

Negativism forces the child to oppose not only his mother’s wishes, but also his own wishes. For example, parents offer to go to the zoo, but the baby categorically refuses, although he really wants to see the animals. The point is that the suggestions come from adults.

It is necessary to distinguish between disobedience and negative reactions. Disobedient children act in accordance with their desires, which often go against the wishes of their parents. By the way, negativism is often selective: the child does not fulfill the requests of an individual, most often the mother, but behaves as before with others.

Advice:

You should not speak to children in a commanding tone. If your child is negative towards you, give him the opportunity to calm down and move away from excessive emotions. Sometimes asking the other way around helps: “Don’t get dressed, we’re not going anywhere today.”.

2. Stubbornness

Stubbornness is often confused with persistence. However, perseverance is a useful strong-willed quality that allows a little man to achieve a goal, despite difficulties. For example, you can finish building a house out of cubes, even if it is falling apart.

Stubbornness is distinguished by the child’s desire to stand his ground to the end only because he has already demanded it once. Let's say you invite your son to dinner, but he refuses. You begin to convince, and he answers: “I already said that I won’t eat, so I won’t.”.

Advice:

Do not try to convince the baby, because you will deprive him of the chance to get out of a difficult situation with dignity. A possible solution is to say that you will leave the food on the table and he can eat when he gets hungry. This method is best used only during a crisis.

3. Despotism

This symptom most often occurs in families with only one child. He tries to force his mother and father to do as he wants. For example, a daughter demands that her mother be with her all the time. If there are several children in the family, then despotic reactions manifest themselves as jealousy: the baby screams, stomps, pushes, takes away toys from a brother or sister.

Advice:

Don't be manipulated. And at the same time, try to pay more attention to your children. They must realize that parental attention can be attracted without scandals and hysterics. Involve your baby in household chores - cook dinner together for dad.

4. Symptom of devaluation

For a child, the value of old attachments disappears - to people, favorite dolls and cars, books, rules of behavior. Suddenly he begins to break toys, tear up books, call names or make faces in front of his grandmother, and say rude things. Moreover, the baby’s vocabulary is constantly expanding, replenished, among other things, with various bad and even indecent words.

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Advice:

Try to distract children with other toys. Instead of cars, take up construction kits; instead of books, choose drawing. Often look at pictures on the topic: how to behave with other people. Just don’t read moral lectures; it’s better to play out the child’s reactions that worry you in role-playing games.

5. Obstinacy

This unpleasant symptom of the crisis is impersonal. If negativism concerns a specific adult, then obstinacy is aimed at the usual way of life, at all the actions and objects that relatives offer to the child. It often occurs in families in which there are disagreements on the issue of upbringing between mom and dad, parents and. The baby simply stops fulfilling any demands.

Advice:

If the baby doesn’t want to put away the toys right now, engage him in another activity - for example, draw. And after a few minutes you will find that he himself will begin to put the cars in the basket, without your reminder.

6. Riot

A three-year-old child is trying to prove to adults that his desires are as valuable as their own. Because of this, he goes into conflict on any occasion. It seems that the baby is in a state of undeclared “war” with those around him, protesting against their every decision: "I do not want and I will not!".

Advice:

Try to remain calm, friendly, and listen to children's opinions. However, insist on your decision when it comes to the safety of the child: “You can’t play with a ball on the roadway!”

7. Self-will

Self-will is manifested in the fact that children strive for independence, regardless of the specific situation and their own capabilities. The child wants to independently buy some goods in the store, pay at the checkout, and cross the road without holding grandma’s hand. It is not surprising that such desires do not cause much delight among adults.

Advice:

Allow your child to do what he wants to do on his own. If he accomplishes what he wants, he will gain invaluable experience; if he fails, he will do it next time. Of course, this only applies to those situations that are absolutely safe for children.

Video consultation: Crisis 3 Years, 8 manifestations of crisis. What parents need to know

What should parents do?

First of all, adults need to understand that children's behavior is not bad heredity or harmful character. Your child is already big and wants to become independent. It's time to build a new relationship with him.

1. React thoughtfully and calmly. It should be remembered that the baby, through his actions, tests the parent’s nerves for strength and looks for weak spots that can be put pressure on. Also, do not shout, take it out on children, and especially do not punish physically - harsh methods can aggravate and prolong the course of the crisis ().
2. Set reasonable limits. There is no need to fill the life of a little person with all sorts of prohibitions. However, you should not go to the other extreme, otherwise, due to permissiveness, you risk raising a tyrant. Find the “golden mean” - reasonable boundaries that you absolutely cannot cross. For example, it is forbidden to play on the road, walk in cold weather without a hat, or skip daytime naps.
3. Encourage independence. The child can try to do everything that does not pose a danger to the child’s life, even if several mugs break in the process of learning (). Does your little one want to draw on the wallpaper? Attach whatman paper to the wall and give some markers. Shows genuine interest in the washing machine? A small basin with warm water and doll clothes will distract you from tricks and whims for a long time.
4. Give the right to choose. Parental wisdom suggests giving even a three-year-old child the opportunity to choose from at least two options. For example, do not force him to wear outerwear, but offer to go outside in a green or red jacket :). Of course, you still make serious decisions, but you can give in on unprincipled things.

How to cope with whims and hysterics?

In most cases, the bad behavior of three-year-olds - whims and hysterical reactions - is aimed at attracting parental attention and getting the desired thing. How should a mother behave during a three-year crisis to avoid constant hysterics?

1. During an affective outburst, it is useless to explain something to the baby. It's worth waiting until he calms down. If you find yourself hysterical in a public place, try to take it away from the “public” and distract the child’s attention. Remember what kind of cat you saw in the yard, how many sparrows were sitting on a branch in front of the house.
2. Try to smooth out outbursts of anger with the help of games. If your daughter doesn’t want to eat, sit a doll next to her and let the girl feed her. However, soon the toy will get tired of eating alone, so one spoon for the doll, and the second for the baby (see video at the end of the article).
3. To prevent whims and hysterics during a crisis, learn to negotiate with your children before starting any action. For example, before going shopping, agree that it is impossible to purchase an expensive toy. Try to explain why you cannot buy this machine. And be sure to ask what the baby would like to receive in return, offer your own version of entertainment.

To minimize the manifestation of hysterics and whims, necessary:

• remain calm without showing irritation;
• provide the child with attention and care;
• invite the child to choose his own way to solve the problem ( “What would you do if you were me?”);
• find out the reason for this behavior;
• postpone the conversation until the scandal is over.

Some parents, after reading our article, will say that they have not observed such negative manifestations in their three-year-old children. Indeed, sometimes a three-year crisis occurs without obvious symptoms. However, the main thing in this period is not how it passes, but what it can lead to. A sure sign of the normal development of a child’s personality at this age stage is the emergence of such psychological qualities as perseverance, will and self-confidence.

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Turning three years old brings big changes to the life of a little person. The child makes a big leap in development: he becomes agile, strong, active and cheerful. He knows how to experience and express vivid emotions, and has mastered speech. But suddenly the sweet baby’s character suddenly deteriorates, he becomes uncontrollable, becomes enraged, and his behavior cannot be controlled. This period is difficult for both children and adults who have to understand the issues of raising a 3-year-old child.

Crisis 3 years

Practical teachers have long noted the unevenness of a child’s development in different periods of life, as well as the fact that periods of rapid and rapid development are accompanied by complications in children’s relationships with others. Very often, the third year of life becomes a crisis - this is the first truly difficult test for parents, when even the most flexible child can become rude, capricious, obstinate and hysterical.

In order for raising a 3-year-old child to go smoothly, parents need to understand what their baby is experiencing. At this age, children begin to realize their personality, their characteristics and desires, and they do this by contrasting them with the desires of others, primarily their parents. Therefore, the child often responds to requests in the opposite way, becomes stubborn, displays negativism, and becomes hysterical. This is nothing more than a child’s attempts to show his independence.

Of course, not all children experience a crisis of 3 years so pronounced. Research shows that about a third of children have no symptoms of parenting difficulties. However, the direction of development is the same for all children; no one manages to escape this crisis; only the child’s behavior style differs. This is the determining factor in how to raise a child at 3 years old.

Parents react differently to the 3-year-old crisis, some become irritable, try to suppress and put the baby in his place, taking advantage of their physical and psychological superiority. In other families, on the contrary, when choosing tactics on how to raise a 3-year-old child, parents indulge all the whims of the little tyrant, as long as he does not throw tantrums. Both of these approaches are wrong.

Parents should treat their child’s request for independence with respect and understanding. You need to allow the baby to “win” sometimes, but within reasonable limits. Experts in child psychology note that a child who rarely encounters resistance from adults in response to any of his claims soon becomes hysterical and very unhappy. It is the framework and restrictions that parents set that help the baby navigate the world around him, as well as his own desires and feelings; without them he feels helpless and disoriented.

On the contrary, children who are forbidden to do everything, thus suppressing all primary forms of negativism, subsequently lose initiative. They are not able to occupy themselves or come up with a game, their imagination is impoverished or, conversely, too wild and unproductive.

If parents pay sufficient attention to raising a child at 3 years old, closer to his 4th birthday this absurd confrontation with parents will disappear, he will learn to formulate his plans and adequately defend them. To achieve this, parents will have to be patient and evaluate any situation soberly.

First of all, when raising a child of 3 years old, the coordination of the actions of adults is important. You cannot allow dad to allow what mom prohibits and vice versa. It is necessary to establish certain rules that everyone, including the parents themselves, will adhere to. To extinguish whims and hysterics, you need to constantly switch the baby’s attention to something else, for example, a favorite toy. It is important to remember that prohibitions, orders and demands, or, conversely, constant indulgences, will not achieve the desired effect. Only by ignoring and calmly reacting to your child’s antics can you quickly calm him down.

And the most important thing in raising a 3-year-old child is parental love, the baby should constantly feel it. Sincere praise is important to him, so every right thing he does must be accompanied by pleasant words. If the child commits an undesirable action, you need to explain why this should not be done. Under no circumstances should you leave the child to his own devices and wait for this period to pass, as this may lead to more serious problems in the future.

How to raise a 3 year old child: boys

At this age, children begin to understand their gender and differences from others, so at 3 years old it is time to form in the child the concept that he is a man. You need to tell your baby how strong and brave he is. The child’s main role model should be the father, so they should spend more time together, which will help the child feel normal in the future in a team.

Boys are more active than girls, so you need to allow them to burn off their energy outdoors: play outdoor games, run, jump, climb and explore new things. It is necessary to encourage the baby’s independence, provide him with more freedom, without ceasing to discreetly supervise him so that his research is safe. Sometimes a mother should pretend to be weak and helpless in order to teach her son to follow male standards of behavior: let him help carry a bag, open doors, etc. 4.3 out of 5 (7 votes)

A three-year-old child is already beginning to develop a personality. Peculiarities of children's behavior and their psychology during this period are designated by the term “three-year-old crisis.” Raising a three-year-old child requires special patience and attention from parents. The specifics of his upbringing do not imply the use of excessive severity and an abundance of prohibitions, otherwise the child himself, having matured, will become too capricious, demanding and pedantic. The child should not be humiliated or beaten, but he should be given a feeling of equality with adults.

Why don't children listen at three years old?

To choose the right parenting tactics, you need to understand what is behind your child’s bad behavior. At the same time, it is worth ignoring any gender differences in behavior, since they simply do not exist at this age, and the reasons for disobedience are approximately the same. Psychologists use the concept of “frustration,” which denotes a mental state when all a person’s desires cannot be fully satisfied. The child gradually understands that not everything can turn out according to his wishes, much is inaccessible to him, he is forced to obey something, and so he gradually grows up.
Every sensitive, observant parent understands his child perfectly and knows when the baby is capricious simply because he wants to achieve satisfaction of his desire, and when the cause of disobedience is something else: problems in kindergarten that the baby is afraid to reveal to his parents, illness, etc. .
Here are the main reasons why 3-4 year old children behave badly:

• The struggle for parental attention.
• The child’s attempt to assert himself as a counteraction to too close parental care. Already two-year-old children strive for independence, as evidenced by their continuous babbling “I myself.” Out of the best feelings, his parents try to impose their own point of view on him. The child takes this criticism with hostility and seeks to counteract it with his disobedience.
• Desire for revenge. There are situations when parents, often without even meaning to, cause suffering to the baby (the mother forced him to finish his unloved porridge, and even hid the baby’s favorite toy).
• Loss of faith in one's own abilities. When a child despairs or is disappointed in something, his behavior may become inappropriate.

What lies behind parental prohibitions?

The ban can be compared to a kind of boundary set in front of the baby for his own protection. Prohibitions play an important educational role, helping to form children's perception of reality. They must learn to understand that there are times when they need to stop being capricious, what they can and cannot do, and how to behave with dignity among people. It is clear that all children do not like their parents’ prohibitions too much; they react to them with irritation, protest, resentment, and anger. However, you need to be firm, knowing that psychologically they are important for proper upbringing. It’s a paradox, but thanks to prohibitions, the child feels parental care, which calms and disciplines him.
In modern society, there are often situations when parents, raised with a large number of prohibitions, while raising their children, try to allow them absolutely everything. Another common mistake is the opposite phenomenon, when parents forbid their children too much, almost everything. In these conditions, an indecisive, timid, timid child grows up, because he has formed a behavioral stereotype - to receive parental approval for any “sneeze”. In order to avoid such problems when raising a child, parents should learn for themselves that every prohibition must have a reason and motivation. After all, the child should understand why it is impossible to do this in a certain situation, and what consequences his action may cause.
Based on the reasons, all prohibitions can be divided into unconscious and conscious.

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Conscious prohibitions

• Conscious ones include those prohibitions that elders use to protect a child from something. For example, to avoid a sore throat, my mother forbade eating ice cream.
• This also includes prohibitions that, according to parents, develop discipline in children, since without them the form of education is incomplete (indulgence, permissiveness, whims, etc. arise).

Unconscious prohibitions

For unconscious prohibitions, the root causes often lie in the past and are more complex. Habit can also be the cause of unconscious inhibitions.

• Many mothers and fathers continue to use the same parenting methods as their parents, who at one time forbade them from many things. Therefore, now, out of inertia, they forbid the same to their children.
• This may be mixed with some envy of the younger generation: if it was not available to us in our childhood, then you have no need to have it either.
• Often, prohibitions hide the experiences and emotions of parents, their irritations and resentments. Then the ban acts as a punishment: “Since you didn’t do as I ordered, then you won’t get a new toy!”
• The anxiety of parents can also lead to prohibitions, especially when they try to surround the child with excessive care, just so that nothing happens to him!

But by forbidding a 3-4 year old child to do anything in a condemning tone, parents are making a big mistake, because at this time the child only feels annoyance, shame, and guilt. Such emotions will only negatively affect his upbringing.

Psychology of raising 3-4 year old children

To choose the right vector for raising three- to four-year-olds, you need to take into account the key points of their development during this period. At this time, curiosity awakens, and endless “whys?” are poured in, capable of infuriating any adult. But all his questions must be answered specifically, without going into detail. If the adult himself does not know the answer, then you can feel free to tell the child about it, promising to find the answer soon.
If a child went to kindergarten and there he had difficulties with adaptation, then adults should help him overcome them. First, you need to find out the reason (embarrassment, shyness, jealousy), and then choose the tactics of proper communication with peers - whether to share toys with them or, conversely, stand up for yourself. If the problem cannot be solved and it becomes deeper, then you should contact a child psychologist.
The psychology of family education of three- and four-year-olds must take into account the changes that the child’s psyche undergoes in the process of growing up. The child develops new feelings: shame, resentment, irritation, sadness, which he cannot cope with on his own, which is why it happens that he behaves badly. At such moments, it is important to support the baby, explaining to him that all his experiences are absolutely normal. You need to convey to your child that it is more appropriate to express your feelings in words rather than through bad behavior. The child needs to be praised more often, as he acutely feels the lack of praise. He should be punished only according to the case and so that he knows why. You can praise him for his great diligence and achievements in any matter. Even if the child’s behavior is not pleasing, he should always be told that he is loved.

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Features of raising children according to their temperament

At some point, parents sometimes notice that children can react differently to the same events: they listen to some comments calmly, others begin to play around and play pranks even more, and there are also those who throw real hysterics and a storm of disobedience. Therefore, the same educational approach cannot be mechanically applied to all children, since each child has his own temperament. Taking into account the type of temperament, you can find the key for any child, even the most naughty one. If a 3-4 year old child is raised incorrectly and his temperament is not taken into account, then not only can he encounter disobedience and problems, but in the future his personality may completely degrade.
When a child is often scolded and even beaten, then growing up and becoming an adult, he often finds himself susceptible to bad addictions (nicotine, alcohol, drugs). Such people have problems communicating both with peers and with people of other ages.
Psychologists distinguish 4 types of character temperament:

• choleric people;
• sanguine people;
• phlegmatic;
• melancholic people.

Almost no real character falls exclusively under any type of temperament; combinations of them in different proportions are much more common. The dominance of one or another type of temperament is determined by the type of parental communication with the child. Children with different temperaments react differently to similar situations, which is especially evident in cases of any refusal.

Sanguine children

It is easiest to raise sanguine people, who are most often in a good mood. The following traits can be noted in sanguine children:

• there are no mood swings, and even an upset baby will not fall to the floor, roar or kick his legs;
• Sanguine people are mobile, always aiming to interact with something, to run somewhere;
• they have high self-esteem and a strong nervous system;
• they fall asleep quickly and wake up easily, which also characterizes the functioning of their nervous system.

But these seemingly ideal children are not without flaws. So, sanguine people love to cheat, and if they don’t want to do something, then it’s almost impossible to force them.
Parents of sanguine children make a mistake when they take their children at their word - they will only follow their lead. If you do not pay enough attention to these points, then the child may well grow up to be a swindler and a liar. In order to avoid such consequences, parents must maintain a line of upbringing where the child must fulfill parental demands. This should be done without lectures or shouting, but calmly. Another common mistake of parents of young sanguine people is excessive praise.. If you excessively praise even such balanced children who have good self-esteem, then they can “grab a star.”

Melancholic children

The melancholic type of temperament is one of those that requires the greatest attention. Such unusually sensitive children are very easy to offend and upset, and yelling at them is the same as arranging physical execution. This type is characterized by the following features:

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• fast fatiguability;
• difficult adaptation to new conditions;
• increased sensitivity.

When raising a melancholic person, serious mistakes include public reproach and punishment for poor performance. For a melancholic person, learning in a large group already creates a stressful situation, so his main task in kindergarten and junior school becomes adaptation to his group or class, and only then does success in mastering academic disciplines occur.

Phlegmatic children

Phlegmatic people are calm and balanced, whose distinctive features are:

• slowness;
• emotionlessness;
• willingness to sleep 10-12 hours a day.

When raising a phlegmatic person, mistakes include passively spending time with him and conveying demands to him verbally. It is better for him to show everything by his own example. If its development is not actively pursued, then it will remain “a stone under which water does not flow.”

Choleric children

Cholerics can be called engines of progress, who constantly need to do something, run somewhere, although they easily give up any task without completing it. The main features of choleric people:

• mobility, activity, noise;
• emotionality;
• restless sleep.

It is very important to raise a choleric person correctly so that he does not grow up to be overly emotional and even aggressive, which is not far from antisocial behavior. When raising choleric children, parents often make mistakes, showing them excessive care and concern, as well as aggression. On the contrary, with a choleric person you need to behave in a balanced manner, even despite the fact that he screams and plays pranks. It is impossible to suppress it, but it is more effective to respond to its whims in a calm tone. You cannot indulge his demands, but you should impose your life principles, adhere to reasonable prohibitions and long-term agreements.

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A three-year-old child passes a conventional milestone: at this time he tries to realize himself as a separate person with his own desires, and the formation of defining character traits occurs. Sometimes children's will does not coincide with the rules and norms of adults, which causes hysterics and whims. Parents need to build a trusting relationship with the baby so that he grows up to be a confident and socially adapted person. In progressraising a 3-4 year old child psychologygives optimal adviсe .

To determine the correct method of education, it is necessary to find out the reasons for the child’s bad behavior. The term “frustration” is used to denote a mental state in which children’s desires are not fully satisfied. The child grows up, realizing that it is impossible to get everything he wants, because many actions are not yet available. At moments of such awareness, he becomes capricious in order to satisfy desires.

To protect and raise the baby, parents use prohibitions , which perform an educational function, forming a correct perception of reality. The child must understand when to stop being capricious and how to behave in society. Even though children get angry and irritable, parents must be persistent.

Paradoxical!Thanks to prohibitions, the baby developsfeeling of security,discipline appears.

To the factors provoking bad behavior children 3-4 years old include:

• Desire for revenge causing disobedience.
• Need for more parental attention. The baby does not know the rules of constructive dialogue with adults, so he chooses a simple and accessible method - hysterical
• Overprotectiveness. Even children two years They crave independence and self-affirmation. And parents impose their own opinion, initiating the child’s indignation.

Children may become disappointed, which will cause a “storm” of inappropriate reactions.

Crisis of three years

Children don't realizewhat is possible and what is not.Therefore, in response to the prohibitions of adults, they show stubbornness and hysteria. The baby wants to choose, make decisions, but notunderstands why notfollow your desires.

• avoid coercion, categoricalness;
• do not respond to hysterics, crying;
• pay more attention to the baby;
• show affection, love, care;
• stop demanding, start explaining patiently.

Note! Crisis of three years promotes the renewal of personal qualities. The child’s worldview, attitude towards others and towards himself changes.

It is important to interest the baby by properly organizing the pastime. The educational program must includespeech development classes for children 3-4 years old, physical education for children from 3 to 6 years old, aesthetic lessons.

How to properly raise children 3-4 years old

Psychology of education children 2-6 years old must take into account the changes that occur in the child’s psyche as they grow up. The baby is worried about strangersemotions and feelings, not knowing how to react to them. We need to teach him to express his feelings using words, not bad deeds.

You should praise your child more often even for minor achievements: he assembled it on his own toys, brushed my teeth.

It is necessary to apply punishments for serious offenses, explaining why he is being punished.

Important!Even with inappropriate behavior, the child must know that he is loved.

You should not react to hysterical behavior or whims. Talk to your baby after the crying stops. The peaceful state of an adult helps the child to calm down quickly.

If children do not want to follow their parents’ insistence, use little tricks and compromise. Let him water the flowers and then watch the desired cartoon. At the same time, carefulattitude towards nature. The request to collect toys will help the baby get accustomed to work education and order.

From the age of 3 years it begins to formdesire to imitate the behavior and actions of adults. Psychologists recommend purchasing toy cleaning kits, a set of tools, and dishes according to gender identification.

The importance of a children's team

The social experience gained in kindergarten is invaluablefor the little man, since the makings of personal formation are laid before the age of 5. A child who is not part of a group of children has difficulty adapting to unfamiliar conditions and experiences fear and uncertainty when meeting people. This is how phobias, aggressiveness, and isolation appear.

Many children are ready to go to kindergarten at the age of 2.Parents may beconfident in the correct development of the baby, since the establishment of a preschool education has a clear education programchildren. Various tasks are solved:

• Speech development. Classes for children 3-4 years oldcontribute to the active growth of vocabulary and the emergence of new lexical units.
• Classes for the development of fine motor skills, which implycoordinated movements of the muscles of the hands and fingers. Exercises of this type stimulate the development of the brain, attention, memory, children's speech center.
• Moral education. Children 3-4 years oldIt is important to instill kindness, compassion, empathy, and the ability to forgive.
• Physical education of children from 3 to 6 years old.The development of a baby physically directly affects intellectual skills. Physical training improves mood.
• Musical lessons. Aesthetic education promotes the comprehensive development of children and encourages moral experiences.

Tasks of raising and teaching a child 2-6 years oldboil down to guiding the child in the right direction.Not every mother is able to purposefully and systematically work with her baby in the areas described.Development of child psychologymust be literate.

Errors in education

Character is formed on the basis of temperament, which is genetically determined. The psychological situation in the family and the mother’s willingness to respond correctly to whims influence the acquired character traits. values continues when raising children from 3 to 6 years old.

Parents often allow typical mistakes when raising children, without taking them into account temperament . Each little person is individual; the same mechanisms cannot be used as an educational method. With improper upbringing without taking into account temperament,psychological problems, negatively affecting personality development.

In psychology There are 4 temperamental types: melancholic, sanguine, choleric, phlegmatic.Guys with different attitudes relate to identical situations differently, which is clearly expressed in the case of refusals.

Note!If children are regularly yelled at and irritated, then in the future they will be susceptible to addictions and have difficulty communicating.

Sanguine children are easy to educate and are rarely capricious. However, they are cunning. If they do not want to obey, it is impossible to force them. The main mistake in communicating with such children is unquestioning faith, which forces adults to follow the lead of their child.

Melancholic people are touchy, selfish, and require a lot of attention. For such children, a large group causes fear and stress. Therefore, when sending your baby to kindergarten, you should pay attention to his adaptation to unfamiliar conditions.

Phlegmatic babies are balanced, slow, and sleep for a long time. They need to be occupied with active activities in order to avoid inertia in the future. The mistake would be to explain the requirements rather than demonstrate them.

Cholerics are emotional and restless. It takes a lot of patience to educate, since it is impossible to suppress them. You cannot show aggression, irritability, or indulge your whims. It is necessary to immediately establish rules of conduct.

Knowing the intricacies of the psychological organization of the individual, you can avoid problems in raising your child.

The relationship between parents and children is a continuous educational process. Adults should show wisdom and calm during children's tantrums and whims, finding the right way out of the situation. A friendly atmosphere contributes to the development of a harmonious personality.