He talks about what fifth-graders and their parents should prepare for, especially for Letidor. Elena Goncharova, educational psychologist, member of the Russian Psychological Society and the Association of Cognitive Behavioral Psychotherapy.

Elena Goncharova

The transition to fifth grade can be a real stress for a child. And this is what he has to deal with:

• a new group of classmates, where you need to find “your place” again;
• the polyphony of new teachers, which you need to get used to separately: the pace of speech, teaching style, rigor and negative reactions to violation of discipline during lessons;
• classroom education system, instead of one traditional classroom;
• returning home independently instead of the usual extended period;
• the need to do homework without anyone's help.

Parents of fifth-graders often turn to school psychologists with the same problems:

The child went from an excellent student to a C student and became withdrawn, although in the lower grades he was very sociable and diligent.

Parents do not always realize what their student is going through during the transition from primary to secondary education. Let's consider what difficulties he has to face during the period of adaptation to new conditions.

Changing class leader

Your student is used to being the first and leading the team. And now he feels that besides him, there are also equally active, brave “stars” in the class. His level of competition increases along with conflict. This is a big test for self-esteem, which suffers greatly if the child has failed to defend his position as a leader.

Help from parents. Ask your child who in the new class he likes and who he doesn’t and why. Let him try to describe to you how he is similar and how he differs from those students he told about. What skills and advantages does your child have over new “leaders”, and what advantages do they have over him?

The parent's task is to explain to the student that, thanks to similarities or differences, one can make friends instead of conflict.

Decline in performance in certain subjects

A child may speak badly about some teachers, say that they do not like him and deliberately lower his scores. Because of this, interest in studying disappears and grades deteriorate.

Help from parents. It is necessary to understand how adequately the child perceives what is happening. It is worth going to school and talking separately with the teacher. But don’t make any complaints, but ask the teacher’s opinion - why, in his opinion, this happened and how you can improve your performance.

Find out what strengths the teacher sees in your child. If there are none, this is a signal that the teacher is not very professional.

The main thing is not to delay this conversation until the student enters into an open conflict with the teacher or, conversely, withdraws into himself.

Homework stretches until late at night

This is why many parents of fifth-graders have to give up sections and clubs.

Help from parents. As a rule, a decrease in productivity is associated with the physiological characteristics of this age. It is necessary to undergo a medical examination to rule out neurological diseases that, due to emotional stress, could manifest themselves in the fifth grade. If everything is fine with health, then pay attention to the organization of the child’s daily routine, try to make a plan for every day. Try to include homework, walks, and additional sports, music, or creative activities into it without fanaticism.

Perhaps the child does not understand some subjects, but is afraid to say so.

Offer to help explain or contact a tutor.

Double standards of parents and teachers

How often do fifth-graders hear “you’re already an adult” or “you’re still young” addressed to them? This attitude towards the child makes him doubt their authority and makes him want to stop listening to anyone altogether.

Help from parents. Determine with your child the range of his responsibilities and capabilities. Justify your prohibitions and demands with logical arguments, and not “when you grow up, you will know.”

Agree on what rewards and punishments may entail certain violations of agreements.

Parting with the “school mom”

Back in the fourth grade, every day he saw one teacher - his “cool mom”, who had her own individual approach to each student. In the fifth grade, schoolchildren seem to be “depersonalized”; subject teachers are aimed at imparting knowledge and monitoring their level. Children see the class teacher 2-3 times a week during lessons and homeroom hours.

Help from parents. Explain to your child that subject teachers teach 200-300 students per week, so their main task is to teach. In turn, parents make the mistake of not helping with homework or resolving conflicts, justifying this with the phrase “you must learn to be independent.”

Responsibility for homework, a packed backpack, a memorized poem must be transferred gradually from elementary school.

If you were a helping parent for the first four years, then in the fifth grade you cannot suddenly deprive your child of help.

Complexes from feeling social inequality among peers

Many parents, in connection with the transition to the fifth grade, buy their son or daughter their first computers, expensive gadgets; girls buy expensive clothes, shoes, and jewelry.

Help from parents. There is no need to devalue your child's desire to have the same things as his classmates. The phrases “This is not the main thing”, “And others have nothing to eat at all” are unlikely to help a fifth grader.

Try telling your child honestly:

I understand how you want to have an expensive phone or tablet. But, unfortunately, we cannot afford this purchase yet.

Invite him to save money on his own, draw up a savings schedule and determine which resources he can start saving from.

No friends in class

This happens when a child moves to fifth grade from another school and the situation is complicated by the move: then there are no friends not only in the class, but also in the parallel school.

If high scores are so important for adults, then you need to look with your child for his personal motivation - why he needs to do well at school. And you also need to understand: some people have an inclination towards the exact sciences, while others find it easier to study the humanities.

High scores in all subjects is a huge job, which often deprives children of walks, sports and favorite clubs. Is it worth it?

The difficulties associated with the transition to fifth grade are like a “snowball”: they build on each other and at some point become too much for the child to bear. From dislike for the subject, teacher, classmates, he can come to the understanding: “I hate this school!” But it is in the fifth grade that a student’s attitude towards learning is formed until the end of the eleventh grade.

"The challenges that children with autism face in this world"

Autism in a child is not a death sentence. Nobody knows why this disease occurs. Few people can explain what an autistic child feels when contacting the outside world. But one thing is certain: with proper care, correction of early autism, classes and support from parents and teachers, children can lead a normal life, study, work and be happy.

In the USA, it was found that due to a genetic failure, autistic people can sometimes develop a “genius gene”. But society, unfortunately, does not always accept people with autism. They are called “eccentrics,” they laugh at them, they humiliate them, and this only worsens the condition of the children.

For many decades in our country, children with mental and physical development disorders were offered a stay in specialized institutions. This approach is currently being seriously criticized by the international community. In world practice, a social indicator of the quality of life of persons with mental and physical disabilities is a complex of factors that do not depend on the psychophysical characteristics of the child. These factors include:

• * health (knowledge of the rules of a healthy lifestyle and their implementation);
• * material well-being;
• * education and vocational training (practical readiness for domestic and industrial work);
• * communication skills, the ability to maintain relationships with others and loved ones (the ability to maintain family relationships and independence of contacts);
• * social security (knowledge and implementation of safety standards in public places, in one’s own home, in extreme situations);
• * direct participation in public life, determining one’s place in the community (awareness of one’s own social role and readiness to fulfill it in interaction with different groups of people);
• * moral principles, social significance (understanding of one’s own sensations, feelings, emotions of other people, the ability to control one’s emotions and adequately express them in verbal and non-verbal ways).

Creating conditions in society to unlock the potential of a child with developmental problems is an important social task of our society.

At the moment, the problem of social adaptation of children with autism in the family at different age periods remains practically undeveloped. This is due, on the one hand, to the difficulties of psychological assessment of the emotional state of a child with autism, especially in the preschool and preschool periods, and on the other hand, to the lack of objective psychological criteria for his adaptive capabilities.

It is especially difficult to teach autistic children to eat correctly. Children often grab food with their hands, stuff it into their mouth, and chew it poorly. Some children refuse to feed themselves and demand to be fed from a spoon.

A special role in the process of socialization of children with autism is played by their visits to child care institutions. Unfortunately, there are practically no specialized institutions in Russia aimed at treating and providing socio-psychological support for children with autism. After the age of three, parents can place their child in a day hospital at a psychoneurological dispensary. But this is only possible in a big city, and children with autism living in small towns or villages are actually deprived of the opportunity to attend child care institutions.

In children with autism, changes in the social and microsocial environment can lead to profound affective experiences. Communication difficulties cause a significant number of problems in children attending educational institutions. People around them do not always understand what the child wants, why he is silent, does not express his attitude to the problem, or “incomprehensibly” presents it. Failure of others to understand the behavioral characteristics of autistic children and adolescents leads to many conflicts. Often others evaluate the behavior of adolescents with autism in public places as hooliganism due to drug addiction, alcohol, etc.

The effectiveness of socialization and social adaptation of autistic children and adolescents depends not only on how they have adapted to society, but also on how society itself is ready to adequately live and communicate with these people, understand them and help them.

Thus, the main goal of socio-psychological rehabilitation and adaptation of young disabled people with autism is to develop in them vital skills aimed at self-care, performing simple labor operations at home and in special production conditions, and in the future - independent living in specialized institutions. The main motto of specialized institutions for people with mental disabilities is to protect the individual rights and freedom of people with mental disabilities.

There are many articles that discuss various issues associated with toxic relationships.

Usually these problems are not easily resolved, but in one traditional way - you need to leave, writes Higher Perspective.

However, there seem to be too few articles that discuss the struggles of those born into toxic families.

The struggles you experience in a toxic family deserve special attention. It's not the same as being in a romantic relationship, and it's certainly a more difficult situation to leave.

Here are four serious problems that children in toxic families face and carry with them into adulthood:

1. They have difficulty communicating.

Children who grow up in a dysfunctional or toxic family understand that it is better not to communicate with such relatives. This habit continues into adulthood. They find it difficult to get along with others.

At home, children learn to communicate and function in society.

If their parents and siblings are dysfunctional, their sense of normalcy is distorted from childhood. They need to understand as early as possible that what is happening at home is not the norm.

2. They often worry.

Unless you were born into a dysfunctional family, try to put yourself in the shoes of someone who has experienced it.

You get home from school, you have a lot of homework, a test tomorrow and a diary to fill out.

Not only are you worried about getting all your work done, but you're also worried about walking into the house and facing the typical family drama.

In the future, they begin to worry about literally everything.

3. They often blame themselves for things they have nothing to do with.

Research shows that children who grow up in toxic families have difficulty understanding their own emotions.

In a dysfunctional home atmosphere, you may have been accused and punished for something you did not do, or more than once spoiled the holiday with scandals and even violence. All this has an extremely negative impact on the future.

Such events manipulate the child's sense of reality, causing him to question his own feelings.

4. Their future relationships may suffer.

The way things were in the family will serve as an example for all your future relationships.

If your family is toxic and likes to manipulate each other, you may act the same way in your relationships in the future without even realizing that what you are doing is wrong.

This applies not only to romantic relationships, but also to friendships and work relationships.

Remember that you are you. No matter how your childhood turned out and no matter what your parents’ relationship was, this does not mean that you should follow their example.

You choose who you want to be. The main desire.

Patrick Mabilog, a Christian author, blogger and leadership coach, wrote in his column on Christianity Today about five problems that pastors' children have to face, reports Christian Megaportal invictory.com.

“Being a pastor can be difficult for many reasons,” wrote Patrick Mabilog at the very beginning of his article. “One of the most significant reasons for this difficulty will be the pressure that ministry brings to the minister’s family—specifically, to children.”

A former pastor's kid himself, Mabilog knows first-hand how serious this pressure can be and that it must be taken seriously. In his article, he identified the five most common problems that children of ministers have to face.

1. Unrealistic expectations

Some people forget that pastors' children are volunteers, volunteer members of the church, and not part of the team receiving a salary from the church. Therefore, it is unfair to demand special dedication from them, so that they spend as much time as possible in the church and do everything to the best of their ability. Pastors' children should be treated the same as any other volunteer in the church, no more.

2. Stereotypes

There is always a certain number of parishioners in the church who know exactly how the pastor’s children should dress, what they should do, how to speak, how to behave in the meeting, at school, on social networks. This puts additional unnecessary pressure on the pastor's children.

3. Call to Service

Children of ministers do not always become professional servants of the Kingdom of God. And even when someone hears a call from God, it can be difficult to answer. Patrick Mabilog said that when he heard God's call to vocational ministry, he was haunted by the thought that he would stand in the shadow of his father, the former pastor of this church.

4. Problems communicating within your age group

Children of pastors often have to attend many different events with their parents, visit the homes of church members, and attend funerals. They become part of the social program of their father or mother. At all these events and meetings, there are usually few children their age; there is simply no one for them to communicate with. This can lead to children becoming frustrated and reluctant to participate in their parents' activities.

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5. Terrible schedule

If the pastor is busy, then so are his children, who are involved in many of his activities and trips. The pastor is often invited to visit with the whole family. And this adds chaos to his children's plans. Their plans are constantly changing in accordance with the plans of their parents.

Based on his life experience, Patrick Mabilog noted that being a pastor's child is quite difficult, although many in the church do not think so.

Children are the flowers of life. Unfortunately, they have many problems at school.
The most important area of ​​life for a student at the moment is not learning, but communication with peers. Friends are the center of a child’s life, which largely determines his attitude towards something. Communication is a way of self-affirmation.

From here The first problem of every schoolchild is communication with peers. For this generation, self-esteem is an important priority. Most often this problem manifests itself in grades 6-7. The child is trying to stand out, to be noticed and praised. Wants to command his peers. This is not always possible, and the child becomes offended by everything and conflicted, and his self-esteem often falls.

The second global problem is academic failure. For some reason, there are only a few people left who actually study and who are interested. . Children believe that studying well is not prestigious, that for positive assessments peers will laugh. But this problem depends not only on the child, but even more on the teacher. Being a teacher is a calling. A teacher must be able to captivate a person with his subject, and not just tell the material.

Also The problem is the behavior of children. If we compare today's first-graders with what it was 10 years ago, we will see a huge difference. Children now are not shy about anything, sometimes even using obscene language (this is at 6-7 years old), constant arguments with teachers, fights and bullying of those whom they consider “unworthy of their communication.” Unfortunately, according to statistics, one can judge that in our time children are very angry, embittered by life in all its manifestations.

For high school kids, the main problem is adaptation to the team. Most of the tenth grades are national teams; a new profile of education is being introduced and, accordingly, students are divided according to priorities. It often happens that most friends go to the same class, forming a ready-made team, and then problems begin. Many people find it very difficult to get used to new people, and they, in turn, do not accept the newcomer.

According to psychologists, at this age children are characterized by such character traits as excessive impulsiveness, low self-esteem, impatience, and social courage. Many strive for leadership without having the necessary skills, which leads to tense relationships and conflict situations not only with peers, but also with adults.
Teenagers almost always consider themselves old enough to make independent decisions. This is a consequence of youthful maximalism, the choice of ideals, the choice of a place in life, the desire for independence. His approaches to decisions begin to differ from the views of his parents, and quarrels arise on this basis. Often, parents cannot admit that their child is right, continuing to consider him a baby, and teenagers, in turn, absolutely do not want to listen to useful advice, so sometimes their decisions are not entirely correct.

High school students are faced with the problem of choosing a profession. Most don't know what they want. Most of them enter universities with specialized subjects that they are better at; for a significant part of teenagers, parents make the choice and only a few percent really understand what they are going to achieve from life and what they need to realize this.

Adults need to pay enough attention to their children, understand and accept the problems of their age, help cope with them, listen to their opinions, and then your child’s growing up will be positive.